You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
whose ass print is on the piano?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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