It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
