The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
