Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
