dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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