Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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