East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
We talked him into tasing himself.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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