Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
