pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
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