well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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