Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Randomize
