C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
