Pappa wants mamma naked
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
