Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
