she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
