I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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