At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
