No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
We left the knife in your bed.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
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