Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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