My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
whose parrot is this?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Randomize
