i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
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