bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
