I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
