she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
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