Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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