Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
