It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
