i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Randomize
