in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
