do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Randomize
