So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Randomize
