Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Mom said you looked used
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
