How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
