You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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