Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I could fuck to npr.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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