I'm drive I can fine osifer
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
