We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
i drank out of a bidet.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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