By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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