the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
