best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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