I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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