I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
