We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
