so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
You're like the curious george of whores
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Randomize
