Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
