Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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