I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
