Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
