I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Just pee around me
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
