the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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