drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
